Step-on-me vs. Ovarian Cancer

The toughest part of my day is right before I kiss Stephanie goodbye in the morning before work.  As I walk from our bathroom doorway into our bedroom I glance up and I see a nightstand covered with a humidifier and at least 5 sometimes 10 prescription bottles.  Next to the nightstand sticking out of what appears as a mound of covers is Stephanie's head without hair.  I see her snuggled up asleep knowing that when she feels well enough to get out of bed she will be staring a day of nausea, boredom, and struggle in the face.  I walk over to her, I kiss her as many times as she will let me before grimacing at me because I woke her up.  I tell her I love her and that she shouldn't hesitate to call me if she needs anything at all.  I then go to work. That’s it.  The hardest thing I deal with all day.  When I think about it seems petty that it is hard for me because when I see and learn the hardest parts of Stephanie's day I realize my struggle is...

Last night Stephanie and I shared the same bed. Nothing remarkable because we share a bed everyday as a happily married couple.  The bed we shared last night was a hospital bed.  If you have ever seen how small a hospital bed is, it was comical to see her and I crammed into this little bed.  I also had the opportunity to go through what we call shake and bake chemo with her.  This is the process after her stomach is filled twitch chemo.  They tilt the bed in every direction to ensure the poison spreads through every part of her abdomen.   Stephanie and I were talking last night and we both agreed hat it is hard to believe how we ended up here.  Thinking back to when we first met, our beautiful paradise wedding, and now the battle of her life.  It is hard to believe how life can change in a blink.  I can't imagine this journey without her.  

Thursday marks the beginning of the third of four IV-IP chemotherapy cycles for Stephanie.  What a journey it has been for her.  I can't believe she has come so far over the last 6 months but she continues to wow me every day with her strength and will.  She will check into the hospital (as long as all of her blood levels are acceptable) and she will be on the downhill side of her chemotherapy. Thursday also marks our return to Norton Hospital.  We loved University of Louisville hospital.  Well, as much as you can love a hospital.  We also love Stephanie's Oncologist.  In February her doctor decided to leave U of L for a Norton based physician group.  Although our experience with the Norton system was questionable when she was initially diagnosed, Stephanie decided to stay with her doctor and go back. Steponme vs Ovarian cancer has 44 more days of battle left!  The support of friends, family, and even some strangers has been critical to t...

A friend of ours recently started treatment for breast cancer and she asked me about my experience with "chemo brain".  Here's how I described it to her: "Chemo Brain" is for real! I have trouble recalling simple words or peoples names sometimes. I know exactly what I want to say, I just can't find the words and make them come out of my mouth. I generally feel like a foggy version of my normal self. I'm not as focused or quick with my responses. It seemed worse at first than it does now. I don't know if I've just adjusted to this slower version of myself or if the effects are actually less now.  I guess I'll find out after Chemo is over, we have 7 weeks of treatment left!