Step-on-me vs. Ovarian Cancer

Today is Stephanie's 30th birthday.  A few months ago we certainly didn't expect that her 30th birthday would come after a very challenging start to her battle with Ovarian Cancer.  But the fact that she is here today healing and preparing to lose her last and final tube is a testament to what the last 30 years has built.  A strong willed, determined woman with the strength to take on whatever is thrown at her. I always knew that I married a very strong and independent woman but little did I know how strong she actually is.  Watching her push through all that she has endured over the last three months has been nothing short of painful.  What she has dealt with would have brought the toughest of tough to their knees begging for assistance.  Not Stephanie.  Stephanie, through each and every step, never let her spirit break and fought hard to get to the point she is at today. I am so proud that I am married to Stephanie and I love her with every fiber of my being.  Please join

Stephanie's surgery went very well on Wednesday and her recovery has been going extremely well.  I haven't posted about it yet because I did not want to jinx it.  She is losing tubes by the day.  Yesterday they finally removed the nephrostomy tube she has had since September and during the surgery they removed the two pelvic drains she had.  In about 30 minutes they are going to remove the last drain in her pelvis.  This will leave only one more tube - a catheter. She has had a total of 6 drains and tubes since late September.  She is ecstatic to only have one.  Doctors come in and apologize for having to discharge her with one tube remaining and she smiles and tells them that she came in with 3 and 1 is awesome compared to what she has had to deal with. Stephanie's recovery is going so well that she may be discharged as early as today!  Although she is in pain from the surgery, I think her spirits are higher than they have been in a long time. All the prayers and vib

2 Hours In Stephanie is currently in surgery and has been for about two hours now.  The OR is very busy today and there are a ton of other families sitting in the waiting room.  She was in good spirits going into surgery and Julie, her sister, was there to be with her and keep her occupied.  Julie is the absolute best at caring for Steph in these hard times.  They have a certain way of relating to one another that really helps to calm Steph when she is struggling. 3 Hours In The Urologist came out to inform us that the surgery went as well as can be expected.  She is doing well in surgery as the GYN ONC team gets started.  They will be placing the port and investigating her abdomen for disease.  She may be in for another hour or so as they complete the surgery. 4.5 Hours In The surgery ended successfully.  The great news from the GYN ONC doctor was that there was no visible cancer in her abdomen!  This is great news because there was cancer on her colon at the conclusion of the

Tomorrow is a very big day for Stephanie because the surgery that will fix all of her current plumbing issues will take place.  The surgery she will be having is a ureter reimplantation. Steph's right ureter was severed during her initial surgery and it has caused her to leak urine into her abdominal cavity.  As a result, she has had multiple drains and tubes placed over the last two months to relieve her abdomen and pelvic cavity of the urine.  Finally, the procedure tomorrow will reconnect her ureter to her bladder and allow her urinary system to function normally. The procedure is an open surgery that will be performed through the same incision that was made during her debulking surgery in September.  The surgery could last as long as 6 hours and as few as 3 hours.  This procedure would normally be much shorter but Stephanie's abdomen is filled with scar tissue and adhesions that will need to be delicately cut, removed, and manipulated in order to get to the damaged uret

My smoking hot wife at MAMFest! In August of 2009 a group of friends and I planned and held an event called MAMfest.  We chose to use our talents to do something meaningful.  We believed that wearing a mustache was a novel way to raise money and awareness for a cause.  So we all grew mustaches and encouraged people from all over Louisville to do the same.  Our facial hair growth, planning, and promotion culminated with a very large event where we honored the mustache and raised a substantial amount of money for an organization named Gilda's Club, a very special organization that provides support to people dealing with cancer. Since 2009 the mustache has become something of a symbol or reminder of the close bond this group of friends share and of the good that can be done with an unshaven upper lip. These friends recently collaborated from across the U.S. to create a video message to Stephanie and they used their mustaches to help them. Our friends have been a tremendous sup

Wild Wednesday Last Wednesday Stephanie was admitted to the hospital because there was a suspicion that she had an infection.  My mother was also hospitalized last Wednesday for stomach issues.  It was a stressful day.  Fortunately, my mother is now doing well and is at home getting better each day.  Stephanie however, is still in the hospital. Infection After being admitted, her physician team ordered a number of blood and urine cultures in an attempt to identify where an infection could be.  For those that do not know, a culture (used in this context) is a form of medical test that takes fluid of some sort from the body and in a lab they nurture the fluid in an environment conducive of bacteria growth.  After a couple of days, if there is bacteria present in the fluid it will grow and they lab will be able to identify exactly what time of infection is present.  Steph had cultures of her urine and blood.  Each drain was tested and blood was tested from her arm and from her port.  

It is dinner time and we would normally be anxiously anticipating my Aunt Brenda's feast that could feed the entire block of her neighborhood.  Her, my mother, and my aunt Beverly would be running around the kitchen laughing and carrying on.  Stephanie would be chit-chatting with someone in my family who is considering a home purchase, sale, or renovation. I remember the days when my grandfather, Cecil, would be cutting jokes and messing with all of the grand kids all before he said a heartfelt pre-feast prayer.  It is times like today I really miss him and wish he was here now to crack some jokes and help us always to stay on the bright side of things. Unfortunately, this is the first Thanksgiving in many years that I will not be participating in the Underwood family gathering.  Yesterday we had two big events happen that set us back a bit. One landed Stephanie in the hospital and the other landed my mom on the couch and fighting nausea and pain. I had to take my mother to the

We are back from MD Anderson.  In fact, we have been back since Wednesday night.  When people have asked how it went all I say is that it was a whirlwind.  Air travel with masks, amazing accommodations by my brother-in-laws family, and one of the most impressive medical operations I have seen. Many don't realize that MD Anderson is situated on the largest medical campus in the world.  It is literally as big as the City of Louisville.  (traffic is much worse there than in Louisville even with the bridge project).  This hospital has managed to retain some of the best cancer physicians in the world and literally people from all over the world come to see them.  I mentioned in a previous post that cancer doesn't discriminate and while sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, this point was made even more evident as we heard several different languages and saw many people that were from all corners of the earth. We met with both an OBGYN Oncologist and a Urologist Oncologist

I think that Greg and I have done a really good job of making the best of our situation.  We always try to find the fun side of what's going on and keep a positive outlook.  But, don't be fooled, he and I have cried too.   I cried when I found out I had to get two more tubes, I cried when I was told that I was not yet ready for the life-saving chemo I desperately need.  I cried when my hair fell out.  These moments were met with a few tears and sniffles, then quickly wiping my face, taking a deep breath, and getting on with life.  There are people who do not have the resources or the support that I have and are in worse situations than me.  I need to suck it up and keep moving forward. There is one aspect of what's happened to me that I haven't figured out how to get over yet.  I usually find myself crying about it when I'm in bed late at night or early in the morning and everyone is asleep.  Sometimes, in the middle of the afternoon I'll see someth

We are currently in Houston, Texas to visit the renowned medical center of MD Anderson.  This is where many of the greatest minds in cancer research and treatment work.  This hospital is known throughout the world to be one the best treatment centers for those who have been diagnosed with cancer.  We will be meeting with two doctors there.  One is a Gynecology Oncologist (Gyn-Onc) and the other is a Urologic Oncologist.  The Gyn-Onc doctor is a known expert in the field of Serous Adenocarcinoma (Stephanie’s cancer) and he is the mentor of our current doctor at the University of Louisville.   When the idea to visit MD Anderson was first posed to me, I wasn't sure why we would need to travel across the country to a hospital to see a doctor who does the same thing as our current doctor  Again, this was another example of my ignorance of how the healthcare system works.  Stephanie’s family was insistent that we go to MD Anderson and we decided to proceed to schedule an appoi

There are probably a few things that come to mind first when you think of someone with cancer.  I am willing to bet that one of them is hair-loss and the so called “cancer patient look.”  The hair loss thing is real for patients on specific types of chemotherapy drug.  Stephanie is on two drugs that can cause hair-loss. ************************** CANCER EDUCATION SIDE NOTE Why Does Chemotherapy Cause Hair-Loss?  Although I highlighted this in a previous post, I thought I would quickly review because Stephanie has been experiencing what it is like to lose her hair over the last two weeks.  Cancer is a disease that grows through cell replication.  Often, cancer cells grow very rapidly.  Chemotherapy (at least the once I know about now) are designed to attached cells that are replicating quickly.  How cool is it that a chemical can be introduced into your body and attack cancer cells because of how fast they are replicating?  (I think it is freaking amazing.)  Unfortunatel

This is a picture from a few weeks ago before a  procedure.  Her eyes are beautiful. Today was a very big day for Stephanie.  This evening we are celebrating one of the few wins we have had in the last few months.  Her urologist team was able to remove two of her tubes today. She had a simple radiology exam where they fill her bladder with contrast and monitor where the contrast goes; effectively, seeing if there are any leaks in the bladder.  Her exam showed that they previous leak that did exist, is no longer there and it has healed. As a result, she no longer needed to relieve her bladder of urine from her left kidney and she no longer needs to relieve her bladder of urine.  The urologist removed the left nephrostomy tube (kidney drain in her back) and the Foley catheter (the drain in her bladder).  It has been great to see Stephanie with a pep in her step this afternoon.  If you didn't know, you would think she lost all of her tubes.  It was a much needed confidence boo

This morning I sat at our dining room table within eyeshot of the one restroom in our house.  The door was open and I watched Stephanie wash her hair in the sink (because it is too much work to get all the way in the shower every day with the bandages.)  She asked me to come into the bathroom to see something so I walked in and she proceeded to show me handfuls of hair she was brushing from her head.  The time has come.  The chemo is causing her hair to fall out.   I stood there in the bathroom rubbing her back as she continued to take more and more hair from her head and I fell back to earth quickly.  Over the last few days, as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, we have worked to get back to normal.  I guess what we were trying to do was keep our minds off of reality.  As I stood there with her watching the sad process of my beautiful wife strip her hair from her head, I lost it.  I could no longer be the strong stoic husband I had tried to be.  Seeing her hair fall out so quickly re

Post op Steph with 4 tubes I apologize for my lapse in posts but Stephanie and I have tried to find some long lost normalcy in our lives and we have filled our schedules with busy errands, work around the house, and other things.  However, today she had a very important appointment with her Urologist to discuss the plan of care for her plumbing issues.   We have learned to arrive at the doctors’ appointments with a long list of questions, a detailed description of what has changed since the last correspondence, and a sturdy notebook to write as many details down as possible.  I like to think that Steph and I are pretty good at this.  In our first appointment with her first oncologist we actually made him sweat a bit because we bombarded him with questions about not only Stephanie’s cancer but also his credentials and experience.  Needless to say, we were very prepared today for this appointment.   Her doctor is what I would describe as a jolly guy.  He has a commanding pre

Have you pooped today?  Do you poop regularly?  The last time you went did you take a second to appreciate that you can poop?  I suggest the next time you are so lucky to take your browns to the super-bowl, take a moment to be thankful that you are able to do so in a healthy and regular way.   Narcotics, chemotherapy, surgeries, urine leaking in your abdomen, anxiety are all contributing factors to an unhealthy bowel.  Stephanie has been struggling in this area for the last several weeks.  This week has been particularly HARD (pun) for her.  She has reached what I describe as an obsession with poop and has spent an abnormal amount of time in our small bathroom at the house this week. Before cancer, Stephanie was extremely averse to discussing her experience with going #2.  So averse in fact, that I made it a regular habit of discussing the act with her just to see her reactions.  She is now so comfortable with discussing poop that she joked that she was going to take a picture of h

The Nightmare The fact that Stephanie has cancer and significant complications from surgery has yet to sink in.  The weekend before she learned about the mass, Stephanie and I celebrated the wedding of two close friends.  We were dancing, drinking, catching up with friends from all over, and generally doing what you do when you celebrate a couple getting hitched.  Everything was normal! Stephanie was nurturing her blossoming career in Real Estate and I was completely focused on growing the Engineering Search business at our firm.  We were focused.  We had plans to acquire real estate, travel, renovate, and start a family.  On that one Tuesday, many things changed.  Our focus shifted from work, success, and family creation to family preservation.   When I see friends or family they ask me how I am doing and I am not sure what to say because I feel as if I am in a state of purgatory.  I live every day with the awareness of what is going on with the love of my life but I don't t

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind.  I still have moments about 5 times a day where I question whether or not I am having a nightmare or imagining these last few weeks of occurrences with Stephanie.  My poor wife has been through so much.  We have been through so much. One incredible gift we have been given is the gift of my Mother, Karen Virgin.  The same woman who fought and sacrificed for my brother and I to have a normal life.  Stephanie and I are fortunate enough to live with her now because, imagine this, Stephaine the real estate mogul sold her house before she had a house to live in.  Not long after my mother moved in it became clear that she was a tremendous roommate!  I guess I took this for granted in my teen years when I could think of nothing else but the day I would move out on my own.  In my adult life, however, my mother is an A+ roomie.   It does not suffice to describe my mom as just a roommate.  On a daily basis she makes it clear to Stephanie, my brother Kevin

Stephanie is out of the first procedure now and she is recovering from anesthesia currently.  Once she recovers, we will go downstairs to the Interventional Radiology department where they will use CT to place the second nephrostomy tube.  The first procedure was to ensure an effective second procedure and to investigate what is going on.  (Warning: graphic update) Unfortunately, they found a hole in her lady parts from the original procedure and hysterectomy.  This is causing some of the leaking urine in her abdomen to discharge from places it should not be exiting. This is not the outcome we were hoping for because it will require more discomfort and maintenance for her at home. Stay tuned...

Today begins much like any other day in the Virgin household.  Steph wakes up to drain her tubes, my mother goes through her routine of showering, working out, and getting prepared for the day.  However, today is different.  Today Stephanie demonstrates her complete commitment to her Halloween costume - a spider. At the end of the day today Stephanie will have a total of 4 limbs and 4 tubes.  In another attempt to get her plumbing issues under control, urology team will attempt to relieve her bladder of urine completely by placing a nephrostomy tube in her left kidney.  (She already has a nephrostomy tube in her right kidney.) With all of these tubes she hopes her spider costume will be an award winning spectacle on Friday when she goes to the Brown Cancer Center on Friday in her costume for chemotherapy.   Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she has yet another tube placed today.  This is incredibly stressful for her and it is hard to see beyond the tubes t

I started my first day of "Chemo Lite" yesterday and Greg wrote a detailed post about everything that entails.  These temperary rounds of chemo are supposed to just go ahead and get some drugs in my body until we are able to transition to the very aggressive form of chemo that is supposed to have the "best outcome" for treating ovarian cancer.  Statistically, ovarian cancer does not have good survival rates - 7 out of 10 women diagnosed with ovarian cancer die within 5 years of diagnosis.  As much as the aggressive form of chemo sounds terrible, I know it is what we need to do as quickly and as many times as possible. "Chemo Lite" is lower doses of two drugs given more frequently than usually prescribed.  Because the doses are lower you can end up with fewer side effects after each treatment. Also, because they are able to give the doses weekly as opposed to every three weeks, I end up getting more of the drug overall.  The most common side effects are

Over the last couple of years I have diligently chronicled the adventures of Stephanie's North Face jacket.  This started as a joke between her and I about her cold nature and how impossible it often was to get her out of her favorite jacket at 75 degrees or below.  We persisted with this game on Facebook and people thoroughly enjoyed the adventures of her and her jacket.  For me it was a strange way of showing how much I love her little intricacies. Today is the day we knew was coming but never wanted to arrive and it represents yet another adventure for the North Face and Steph.  Today Stephanie receives her first chemo infusion.  I have mixed emotions about this experience and I can't even begin to imagine how Stephanie feels. When we arrived at the infusion center time seemed to slow down to a crawl.  I became hyper observant of the people in the waiting and infusion areas.  There was an elderly woman with her loving husband walking across the room joking with one ano

I would much rather be writing about my interpretations of Ginuwine's song "In Those Jeans" but given our situation I think it may be more appropriate to discuss how Genes potentially impacted Stephanie's development of this disease. When we first learned she had a mass we were quite optimistic that her mass was benign.  We felt this way because ovarian cancer is a disease primarily afflicting women above the age of 40.  The median age of the largest research study done of women with ovarian cancer is 60 years old.  Given the fact Stephanie went into this surgery as a young healthy woman without symptoms, statistics seem to favor a benign diagnosis. When we learned her diagnosis we started searching for answers.  Why did this happen?  Too many Totino's pizzas, too much white queso, too much snuggling with Momo? Too much HGTV?  We quickly learned that there was a 15-20% chance that Genes / Genetics could be a root cause of this disease.  We were then referred

With all of the complications from surgery and extra procedures, we have not had much time to speak or even think about treating her overall disease.  This past week's doctor visits were the first steps toward aggressive treatment for the cancer.  Sometime this week she will begin the process of chemotherapy. Because of the plumbing issues caused by Stephanie's 'debulking' surgery, she will have to delay the most important treatments of intraperitoneal chemotherapy (IP chemo) until after they are fixed and healed.  For those that aren't familiar with IP Chemo or Chemo in general, I will provide a quick lesson.  (Both Stephanie and I knew almost nothing about this topic 4 weeks ago and we are still learning every day.) First, it helps to understand that there are two different methods of chemotherapy used to treat Steph's type of ovarian cancer (low-grade serous adenocarcinoma).   The first method is the more traditional where they give the chemo drug intra