Scary Things after Ovarian Cancer

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This week I go to the doctor for my six month post-chemo follow up appointment.  I will have my labs checked to see if my CA125 tumor marker is stable (mine has been less that 5 which is great!).  With many ovarian cancer patients, this is the only sign that the disease is reoccurring.  Several women in our local ovarian cancer support group watch their CA125 rise month after month, until it gets high enough to begin a new course of treatment.  Some women are not sensitive to it at all and can only monitor disease progression with the symptoms.  A small minority of women never experience a reoccurrence.  Many doctors tell their patients, it's not a matter of "if" it reoccurs, it's a matter of "when".  Luckily, my doctor does not have that mindset.  Though it is still difficult to hear other women with the same disease get this news.

That being said, based on my initial CA125 tumor marker which was 88 (normal is considered less than 35), my doctor informed me she would be more concerned with an increase of symptoms.  So, here is a list of things that scare the crap out of you after ovarian cancer:

1. Being Sleepy.
Oh no!  It's 2pm and I'm tired!  Was there enough caffeine in my coffee this morning, how many hours of sleep did I get last night?!  Fatigue was one of my symptoms that I overlooked and didn't recognize until after treatment and I was no longer fatigued.






2. Burping or Farting.
Every fart or burp is met with a quick moment of panic and a run through of everything I have eaten that could be a logical explanation.  Ovarian cancer grows close to your bowels and intestines, if cancer is present in these areas it can cause an increase of gas and indigestion.  In my case, I experienced heartburn for the first time prior to my diagnosis.






3. Abdominal Pain or Constipation.
No longer having menstrual cramps, any abdominal pain makes me immediately want to call my doctor.  It usually only takes me a couple of minutes to calm down and start sorting through my latest meals to figure out what could be causing any discomfort.  Abdominal pain was my number one complaint at diagnosis.  And LORDY, if my morning doesn't allow me enough time for my coffee and post-coffee poo ;) , I am in a mental frenzy all day!





4. Peeing.
Almost every time I pee, these thoughts go through my head: When was the last time I pee'd?  Maybe I should set a timer so I can keep track of that better?  How much water did I drink?  Should I start tracking that?  Is this "frequent urination?"  UGH!   Immediately prior to diagnosis I could barely go an hour without needing a potty break.







5.  Back Ache.
I go to the gym, I lift (some) weights, I occasionally wear heals, I am active.  On top of all that I take a medication that causes joint pain and I am at risk for developing osteoporosis. Back pain is one of the symptoms of ovarian cancer and I am terrified of a back ache.  Is this "normal" back pain or something else?!






6. Weight-gain or loss.
Post-chemo I weighed about 95 lbs.  Prior to my diagnosis I was 106, which was normal for me.  I was pretty sure I would gain my chemo weight back, but with menopause I don't know what my "normal" weight should be.  So basically, any time I step on the scale, I am concerned.  Is this too much, is this too little?  Is my belly bigger than it should be or is this just where I gain weight?



So there it is, the things that scare me!  Being sleepy, peeing, farting, burping, weighing myself, pooping or not pooping, and a belly or back ache.  People do and experience these things all day, everyday.  After being diagnosed with ovarian cancer they make me stop and think, and worry.  How many times do you do these things and not think twice?  Hopefully, as time goes on, these will worry me less, but for now...








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